Live another day …
by
Vivek Hande
Happy Birthday! Happy Wedding Anniversary! That was it.
Life was so simple and uncomplicated in those days. Today, one has to keep
track of a whole lot of unknown people to wish. One has to wish so many people for so many things or forget it at the risk of offending someone and
being regarded as insensitive and uncaring, anti-social and
behind- the -times! You could become a social outcast , get ostracized
or become a pariah if you don’t keep track of these ever expanding lists. I dread each new day and wonder whom I have not
wished or greeted- life has become more complicated!
Did you know yesterday was Bai Day (also called Kaam-wali
Day in North India)? You are in for serious trouble if you have not
given a day off to your maid and given her a new cotton Saree. She may not be
there in your employ till Bai- ke- Bacche day(also called Kaam-wali
–ke -Bacche day in North India ) which falls on April 20 , when you
have to take the maid’s kids for Ice-Cream to Baskin Robbins. Everybody is so
sensitive about these “days “. One loved ones’ parents always but Fathers and
Mothers become suspicious if you don’t wish them on their respective days. I
actually sneak into my sons’ rooms trying to look for my surprise gift on Father’s
Day eve. Guess what ? I believe very soon , there is going to be a Pot-bellied
Father’s Day and another Grey –Haired Father’s Day and
sometime in May ,they are going to fit in a Left- Handed- Grandfather’s Day!
Things are just getting more exciting.
Not to be left behind ,there are special days for
environmental and medical and health issues. No- Electricity –Day and Conserve
–water –Day are passé and old
fashioned. There are exciting new days to be recognized officially which are right round the corner. To mention a few , No-toilet –paper day(May24);
No
–toothbrush –day (June 02); No –potty –day (June09) are some of
the more prominent ones. Then there are these special days to honor certain
professionals – you have Doctors’ Day and Nurses’
Day and Teacher’s Day . The
politicians have not taken this well and a bill is going to be tabled in Parliament
shortly . They regard their position as special and hence have recommended a Politician’s Week . A day would ,
quite obviously not suffice !
Then there are these ‘days ‘dedicated to create awareness
about various illnesses. Of course, there is the World Health Day .There
is a Hepatitis
Day and a Diabetes Day and a Glaucoma Day and the World
AIDS Day and so on. However, some specialties have been feeling left
out and want to highlight the sterling work they are doing in respective areas
of expertise. To focus on the ailments and bring suffering patients closer,
tie-ups have been made with Hallmark cards . Very soon cards and posters will
be available wishing “Happy Anal Incontinence Day” and “Happy Enema Anniversary!” To accommodate these large number of cards
and gifts being exchanged on these Days , Ikea has brought out a special range
of cupboards with different sized slots – they are ,unimaginatively ,being
marketed as the Day Cupboards!
To avoid confusion between these various days and to avoid
overlap , a Department of Days has
been created under the Ministry of Human Resources which considers applications for new entries.
The waiting period for inclusion in the official Government of India Day List
is several days and understandably
, there is intense lobbying for the
dates. Some requests have been turned down at the initial stages itself. Some of them include, “No –Corruption –Day “ , “ No – Cellphone- Day “ , “No –Television
–Day” …
Because of the intense demand for the Days , the Department
is unable to cope with the staggering demand and there is a suggestion to start
marketing Nights soon . In the near future expect “, Happy Maternal Uncle’s Night and
Happy Chemistry Professor Night!”
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