a matter of wife and death

                                                    A matter of wife and death !

                                                   by

                                       Vivek Hande

                                               

This is a tale of tangled webs and avoidable crossed connections. I have a friend Vikram; handsome , highly qualified ,eminently eligible and not so very young anymore; a bachelor. Somehow, marriage did not work out for him. Initially , perhaps a case of missed opportunities and later time just kind of  slipped away. His mother, Mrs.S,  a genial , affectionate soul , tried for a long time to get him married and then after many years gradually started stepping down her efforts. During earlier days, she would seek alliances through her extensive network of friends, relatives and colleagues ,but at some point in the course of events , she gave up. Her affections and energies got transferred to Victor, her prized , pedigreed Labrador.

Enter Mrs. R , who  still considers my friend a good catch and is keen to get her niece married to the gent in question. She is not aware that Mrs S is now focused only Victor, the Labrador. Incidentally ,  Mrs S, having shifted her attentions from her son to her pet is rather keen to acquire a mate, of appropriate pedigree for her canine to ensure a handsome litter and that is currently uppermost in her mind. The conversation that followed could have many tongues and tails wagging….

Mrs S ( looking fondly at Victor): He is getting old , you know.

Mrs R (thinking fondly of  Vikram): Come , come , he is still very youthful and attractive.

Mrs S:  I want to see little babies running around and yelping around the house.

Mrs R:  How many babies would make you happy?

Mrs S: At least half dozen and they should have his lovely skin and beautiful brown eyes.

Mrs R: Half dozen? Well , whoever it is , she will have a real tough time!

Mrs S: I am looking around . She should have good pedigree and preferably she ought to be mating for the first time.

Mrs R ( taken aback ): I can assure you, we come from a very good family and our children are brought up with the highest values.

Mrs S ( interrupting with excitement): I don’t want to waste any time. He is in heat and I want the mating as early as possible. Let us arrange it for this weekend. It will be more convenient at our place. You just give her a good scrub down and bring her across.

Mrs R (convinced that this was definitely not the place for her niece): I better get going.

Mrs S: Let us have some sweets to celebrate . I just can’t wait for the weekend!

Well, Mrs. R beat a hasty retreat and decided to try her luck for her niece in a more restrained family. Mrs S was disappointed over the weekend but has not given up her efforts to find a suitable pedigreed mate for Victor. My friend , Vikram remains a bachelor and incidentally , has always hated dogs!